Funny how that can mean hi/bye at the exact same time.

Almost a year away and so many things have changed. Better, worse, I'd like to think that this year I've seen it all and more.

*sigh*

dA, I've been here...2, 3 years perhaps? More like 2 since I hardly came here the whole of 2008 and now bordering on 2009, I don't think I'll come back. Looking back at all this...this, I don't even know what to call it, memories would be too little and art too self-flattering, so many things have really indeed changed.

I would like to think I've changed too, maybe, just maybe for the better.

To everyone here, this is just a short note to say thank you for those 2 years, for every comment and every word, thank you for being the first real online friends I've ever had, thank you for beautiful art, for snippets of the best (and sometimes worst) parts of your lives.

, , , just to name a few, I don't expect anyone to remember me but I do remember you.

Maybe I'll be back someday~

...

oh fuck this emo shit, I'm over at LJ you guys, come spam me or something?

blurmeese@LJ.

And I'm back XDD

I think I've just signed my own death warrant. Dammit it hell, witherwood-chan, if you breathe a single word of what you've read here to anyone I swear I'll kill you. Or myself.

Damn, girl, you go offline for 4 weeks and the one day I decide to post something no one I know in real life is supposed to read, you come online.

Fyi she's only a distraction so yeah.

My work has been going absolutely nowhere and for it, I blame Jess blablabla god I scare myself with my immaturity sometimes.

Indeed.

Pulling my shit together, clearing out ridiculous pieces I've somehow gotten online and basically getting my life back into some sort of order. Maybe I shall be asexual for the time being, it sure makes life easier (pfft I'll just get to school tomorrow, take one look at her and lose my brains again but it's worth a shot, ne?)

*shrug* I have a history folio to pass up in two days and it's basically blank right now but I'm putting off doing it by posting mindless journal entries so...yeah. God help me.

makes me unbelievably happy, undeniably sad all at once. God, it's insane, with everything one-sided, me watching her like some fucking love sick puppy while I try to act as normal as possible around THAT other person who sits, what, 3 meters away from me?, wanting it to work out between them both because I just want to see her happy even though it hurts so bad, doing all sorts of crazy things I never thought I'd do just because of her.

And all three of us share the same initials so its jl>jl>jl. To top it all off, I can't even force out a school essay since she's on my mind 24/7 and I don't think anyone really knows how seriously I'm taking this.

I feel so...tired. Checking my friendster (oh the shame) profile every few hours just to see if she replied my comments, checking hers because I need to know if there's still anything between them (despite reassurances from random sources that there wasn't anything to begin with). People tell me I'm going through this too much, with my dissecting of everything she says.

Why would she reply me in the first place? Does she know? Why bother with me when she never replies people? Is she just being nice or have I somehow made the right move somewhere along the way? Is the fact that there's always a question on her comments an indication she wants to talk to me? Just being polite?

I'm so addicted it scares me. In a good way of course.